Simple but Hard

Writing about life makes me feel better. Consider this a beta-testing of whether my thoughts make other people feel better.

The Coffee Shop

It was a seemingly normal day.

I was sitting in my usual spot at the coffee shop sipping at my hazelnut-flavoured coffee. I had brought along the book I had been taking forever to finish, concerned that I would be bored. Sipping at my well-earned drink, I relaxed. It had been a tough day at work and I had been looking forward to some peace and quiet. I pulled the book out of the bag, ready to dive into the storyline and get lost in another world. Opening the book to the correct page, I paused; something had caught my eye. I looked up and that’s when it happened.

I saw you.

Mentally composing myself, I allowed my eyes to scan you inconspicuously. You were reading the same book that I had brought along for myself. Funny, I don’t remember the title, only that it was bright red with gold swirls of lace on the front cover.

You were sitting to my right and ahead of me at a different table; left side facing me. Your right leg was perched over your left, swinging lazily. Wearing your red skirt and orange blouse, you were sitting in a chair that seemed too ordinary for you. Slender hands held the book in front of you on the table as though it weighed nothing at all. The long wavy hair escaping your head had a mind of its own. It seemed almost as though it had chosen the light-brown colour that it shone proudly. A few wisps were visible on your left but it was mostly draped over your right shoulder. This allowed me a proper view of your face.

You wore an expression of calm focus, clearly deep into the storyline. Eyebrows lightly furrowed, you appeared intent on reading each word carefully. Your jaw hung loosely; rosy pink lips parting ever so slightly. Deep brown eyes darted from left to right. They blazed with a strong willed spirit and natural intelligence.

I retracted my gaze. How long had I been looking over at you? Daring a glance, you seemed completely unaware of my interest in your presence. 

Suddenly muffling a chuckle, you smiled, clearly entertained by something you had read. Your eyes twinkled and you bit your lower lip softly, out of mild embarrassment or amusement. Settling into a half-smile, you sighed, leaned your head on your right hand, and nestled further into your chair.

My heart melted.

At this point, I was practically staring at you, completely entranced by your every move. My heart pounded as I made a startling realization. We were reading the same book: perfect conversation starter. I fought internally until finally, my will to approach you outdid my lack of self-confidence. Preparing to rise, I suddenly froze. Those mesmerizing brown eyes did something completely unexpected.

They gazed directly into mine.

Panic overtook me and left me senseless. I stared dumbly back at you consumed by shock as a million butterflies came alive inside me. I hardly breathed and sat there transfixed for what seemed like an eternity. Only, this moment didn’t last very long. Your gaze slowly averted from mine. I didn’t dare move until I realized what you saw; what you were actually looking at. A grin of utter joy appeared on your face.

Your boyfriend had arrived.

You got up and as he approached you. He quickened his pace and you gave him a hug. Parting slightly, your two faces slowly approached one another and as your eyes closed… 

I looked away, more out of shame than anything. Deciding I had had enough of the coffee shop for one day, I packed my book and chucked my cup, preparing to leave. As I got up, I stole one last glance over at you. The two of you were sitting at the table, his back to mine, sitting in front of you. You looked over at me, for real this time, with a quizzical look. I smiled politely and, cheeks reddening, I backed out of the coffee shop.

It was a warm winter’s day and snowing. Decidedly, I smiled to myself and made my way home.

You didn’t know it, but despite the outcome, you had brightened my day and I just wanted to say:

Thanks.

Valentine’s Day

Everybody feels lonely sometimes. Whether you haven’t had human contact all day or you’re just in one of those moods, it happens.

This past Valentine’s Day, I had to decide how I felt this year as a single guy.
The choices were simple. Should I: 

a. Feel sad and pathetic that I was, once again, without a partner?
b. Rejoice in being single and be loving toward others?
c. Be apathetic and and act as though I don’t care?

In reality, I was somewhat a combination of those three.  I found myself rather sporadically between them. I started off by posting a rather sarcastic: “HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!” on my Facebook profile to appeal to choice ‘c’. I also noted rather consciously that my only Valentine’s Day greetings came from my mom, grandmother, and father respectively. (Don’t get me wrong, I love them to death. However, that realization does not come without some level of self-pity.) That appeals to ‘a’. And finally that leaves me with choice ‘b’. 
To be honest, I don’t really have an anecdote for the last one. In reality, I did my best to enjoy my day eating chocolate (Thanks, Mom!) and trying my best to be my usual self.  

In all, I had a good day. It wasn’t my ideal but hey, how often does one come across the ideal? I hope nobody had a bad day but I know it happens. 

I always try and remember that, like many things in life, love is reciprocal. The more you put out; the more you get in. So rather than mope, I do my best to treat others as I would like to be treated and so far, the results are actually quite good.

Do you wish that somebody had wished you a Happy Valentine’s Day but no one did? Try being that person. Wish someone else a Happy Valentine’s Day. You may very well make their day. And you know what? It makes you feel good too.

So to all of you in relationships out there: For God sakes stop reading this sappy blog and go spend time with them!

And to all of you that are single: HAPPY TUESDAY!!!